Livin' La Vida Donya

I have no idea who reads my blog. Not a clue if anyone I know has ever found their way to this end of the web. Nonetheless, if anyone can hear me, at least I said it. Since April 2015, because of one incident (and I did this by the book by the way AND was asked to be flexible), I have been picked on and thrown under the bus several times. I can’t even remember the number of times I’ve felt I was being attacked (whether through a seemingly harmless joke or to the extent of being yelled at directly). I didn’t do anything about it. All I did was sit and did my job. When I answered back and defended myself, things and responsibilities would be taken off my hands. Position does not allow respect to be overruled. Doesn’t mean a ladder step above gives anyone the right to bully anyone. A few months ago, I was able to at least find an outlet. Someone who knew me before any of this happened said, “ It’s like you’ve been traumatized, like you fell into a hole ”. And I was. I was s...

I wanted to cover my butt so I read ALL the pages. Just a friendly reminder, read and ask questions. Your signature speaks volumes so best to grasp an understanding before you ink that paper. This is what was promised among others: “Maintain a safe and healthy workplace.” “Provide training and learning opportunities for all personnel to foster growth .” “Work in an ethical and professional manner.” “Everyone that you deal with both internally and externally should be treated with respect at all times.” This is what's written to support the law: “Fairness in the workplace is the right of all Ontarians. ” “Definitions Workplace violence means: The exercise of physical force by a person against a worker, in a workplace, that causes or could cause physical injury to the worker An attempt to exercise physical force against a worker, in a workplace, that could cause physical injury to the worker A statement or behaviour that it is reasonable for a worke...

I had my second assessment last Monday and I was cleared to go back to work on March 1st. Both happy and sad, very mixed emotions. Yes, I'm happy for my progress and that I'll be able to work again. However sad because I'll miss how it was and the people that provided me company during my progress. I'm also very scared. Scared to go back to work - back to the stress, the constant reminder I'm a subordinate, and the politics of it all. That alone can cause anyone their health. Moreso, I'm scared that because of work, all this that I've worked for in getting better might come back. I fear that transit alone is stressful to my body. I'm not asking for a car, hell no. It's not needed and it's just not in the picture right now (although, the Jeep Renegade really did dig a deep hole in me since the auto show). Anyways, I've been going through my exercises and routine this week, business as usual. When I was swimming, I told my gym boyfriend I w...

Spent the whole day watching Netflix in our comfies. When I'm alone at home I usually just watch Suits. This time, since it was a Sunday and Carl was home, we watched a whole array of films. Inside Out, Midnight in Paris, Clear and Present Danger, and some cartoons and tv shows. Naturally, we'd fall into the pit of watching Friends.  It's funny how watching old films bring back chunky, funky technology. The white and bulky personal computer, the wireless flip phone, the antenna on the cordless phone, and the floppy disk. What 10 years can do.  Maybe in the next so and so years it won't be Netflix and Chill anymore. Netflix and Live?

Yesterday I tried to drive... For the first time in 3 years and for the first time in Canada. (psyching myself before moving to the driver side) We scheduled our car for an oil change and got a loaner car while waiting. In my head, I knew it was an automatic. So on our way home from the dealership, I asked, "This is an automatic right? Can I try to drive it?" He said sure but I asked if we could do it near where we lived (with less traffic). So I was psyching myself the whole car ride home. We finally made it near our house and he directed me to where we can switch places. I got in, adjusted my seat, the steering wheel, and the mirrors. Everything seemed to be in order. Then I asked my second question, "Which is the brake? Left or right?" I obviously didn't remember. Might as well ask and look stupid rather than speed and think I was stopping. So I started the car. And I drove. And I kept driving. I missed the feeling of being behind the wheel. The id...

Every day I workout and this is composed of some elliptical and swimming exercises. Also with my core exercises. And every morning, there are the usual suspects with me. The silent man in a baseball cap on the treadmill, the cleaning lady who's been so warm and nice to me greeting me every morning, the old chinese couple that practice their dance routine without a care, and the old Indian couple that try so hard to push themselves in all the exercising equipment. Then there's this old fella (I'm guessing he's Greek or... Bostonian). He's always there swimming silently and always observing. His routine is always to swim first and then jacuzzi for about 10-15 minutes. The first few times he would just say "Gu'd mawnin'" to me. Until one time he said, "Gu'd mawnin' dahlin'". I thought that was sweet. The past week, when he was finished with the hot tub and ready to leave, he said, "See ya later, babe!" That was a plea...

People often pressure themselves too much with the concept of a new year. Another set of 365 days to better yourself. Making promises of better health, better outlooks, and basically better versions of themselves in any way measurable. This usually fades the following month. Poor February. Always just waiting for the 14th to act as an excuse once again. I'm never one to fulfill resolutions. I'll start them and end up disappointing myself for the following weeks ahead. Start a diet? Start a 1-act-per-day? Start a journal? Start a regime? And everyone else on the same bandwagon immediately lost and pondering again come mid-January. One thing I do wonder about is how other people can bring the same negativity in the New Year. A lot is at stake when you vow to yourself to do something drastic and dramatic. But if you keep it small and work on the little things first then maybe they can be something great in the end. Like removing hatred or anger. Carrying this burden ...